What is a second-hand life

There are going to be certain experiences I want to have. And there are two reasons for it:

1. To not regret later that I didn't experience them
2. And more importantly to experience in the truest sense

If I do not have those experiences, then the only way left to know about them would be through hearing it from other people. And this in itself wouldn't have been a problem.

The problem is that many of those people haven't experienced it either.

Many of them have themselves heard of them or read about them.

This is what I refer to as living a second-hand life - a hand me down experience.

What did I experience

I've learned that my most joyous moments have come by experiencing them first hand.

Making a conscious effort to participate in them on my own.

I experienced poetry more deeply, only when I started writing them.

Sensed food more, since I started visiting farmers market every week and cooking things I couldn't pronounce

Became more health conscious by experimenting with food habits & exercises

And allowed to be loved, when I gave it out freely through my hands

Understood strategy more by starting a startup

And learned more about leading people by actually caring about people.

Seems, my life would have been mediocre at best if I had relied on nothing but books.

Why do we experience a second-hand life

There are two main reasons:

1. Action is underrated in the short term, while knowledge is overrated in long term
2. Talking about something gives us a false signal of activity

While the first one is self-explanatory and one of my life's lesson; the second isn't as obvious.

I have been an avid reader about anything health related.

I've read a dozen books, read hundreds of blogs and viewed videos in thousands.

Reason being my Mom has sever back pains and I wanted to understand what was going on.

Every time I found a solution, I used to tell her & everyone around me about it.

But that hardly changed anything in the people around me.

As Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see", I started acting on those.

I started eating vegetables by the pound.

Cut out sweet drinks (just the last one lingers on… bloody sweet tea..).

Cut out Soda completely.

Reduced pizza's and also halted the bushel of wheat truck heading into my mouth.

I saw an immediate change in the people around me. In their actions.

But more importantly I noticed something else over that one year, which blew my mind :

The more I talked the less I acted.

The less I talked the more I acted !

The reason : Talking about something sends a false signal to our brain that we are actually taking that action !

At first I thought it was true just for me.

But, then I started observing people who.. Talked a lot… and usually didn't do anything..

This is especially easy for health related topics, since you can.. Umm.. see their health.

I've seen people talk on and on about business strategy, when their own businesses have gone nowhere.

Or direct me on investments, when they have a poor track record.

Or how to lead teams when their own teams hate them !

Bottom line

When I want to accomplish something:

1. I talk less about it
2. I Take advice from people who have actually done it. Everything else is second-hand living
3. Check if I'm doing it myself before preaching

Life is too short - live it first-hand.